For the Love, Not the Why

Ma wears her heart on her sleeve and wants to care for everyone she meets. 

We sat down with Ma Robin—friend, mother, daughter, survivor, fighter, and kind human. Her childhood revealed both traces of hope and painful memories. “My parents were divorced growing up. My dad got remarried and I had three step sisters, two real brothers, and one half brother. I am the oldest and the black sheep of the family. I do not talk to any of my siblings anymore. We grew up with a lot of abuse and alcoholism.

I grew up with my grandma. I was her favorite grandchild for a lot of years. She taught me how to cook and clean, the whole nine yards. After she passed away, my dad and I tried to cook a lot of different dishes. He was my best friend. Some of my fondest memories are listening to old Jazz music at the kitchen table with my grandma and dad. My dad would always try and teach me how to dance, but I swear I have two left feet. My step mom and I did not get along. She was really unfair and treated her own daughters a lot better than me. She would abuse me and slap me around. I would get my step sisters’ hand-me-down clothes. They would get nice meat sandwiches and I would get a big chunk of cheese between buttered bread. She [my stepmom] would get mad at my dad if he would spend time with me and then they would get in fights. We got in a really big fight one day and I ran away. I got out of the house and I just kept running.”

Ma Robin reveals how homelessness affects people in a variety of ways, yet the hardships associated with living on and off the streets remain overlooked and often neglected. “My mom was an alcoholic and died when I was 26 from brain and lung cancer. My dad died in 1999; I lost my best friend that day. I have been wandering around pretty lost since then. I’ve had a lot of different jobs. I have cleaned motels, I managed a gas station, and I have done a lot of different things. I have been off and on the streets most of my life. I lived in the Salvation Army, I lived on the streets, I have lived just a little bit of everywhere, and it gets scary at times. People hear about my reputation. Whenever I have a place, I help people out the best I can with whatever I have. Then people come at three in the morning pounding on my door, threatening to beat me up, and rape me. So I end up getting evicted because I let people in. People use and abuse me. I have gotten evicted because I wanted to help everyone. I have a really hard time saying no to people, but now I can’t give them anything because I don’t have anything for myself.”

Eviction and severe health issues cast an alarming shadow on the last few months of Ma Robin’s life. “The last time that I got evicted, everyone said they would be there to help me, but when I left for treatment I was all alone. When I left I did not have anything besides the clothes on my back. I lost everything. While I was in treatment, one of my favorite uncles died. I couldn’t go to see him because if I left treatment I wouldn’t go back. That was my third or fourth treatment. After the last time I went in sobriety for a couple of months and then came back here [where I am housed]. I got sick while I was on the streets. I had pneumonia in both of my lungs. I have cataracts in my eyes. The doctors are afraid of the pressure building and eventually making me blind. My heart is really strong, but my lungs are really bad because of the abuse I have put them through over the years. Recently, I have been living in a motel, but they are raising the rent again and I will have to go back to the Salvation Army.”

One cause of Ma Robin’s happiness is her 16 year old dog, Scooby Doo. “One of my girlfriends gave me a puppy. His name is Scooby Doo and he is my best friend. He hogs every bed no matter how big and sneaks all of my sandwiches if I am not careful. We used to spend every night together on a park bench. When I went into treatment, a friend took him in and has been fostering him. Once I am in a house I can have him with me.”

Another focal point of happiness resides in Ma Robin’s son and grandson, “the only two men, besides Scooby,” that she proclaims she needs in her life. “Besides Scooby Doo, I have a 38 year old son, a nine year old grandson, and a 13 year old granddaughter. I do not get to see her [my granddaughter] often, but I talk to my son every day and see him and my grandson at least once a week. My son has been sober for eight or nine years now. I am so proud of him. It takes a very strong person to stay sober when everyone around you is trying to get you to use again. He lives in low income housing, with a full time job, but has a tough go of it.”

For some people, faith represents the flame in the darkness; for Ma Robin, a combination of faith and family light her winding path. “Years ago, my grandmother and dad instilled in me that I can never give up. I am a survivor and there were times, like when I had pneumonia, where I should have died, but I didn’t. God must have me here for a reason so I will keep fighting. I wish He [God] would let me know what the plan is for me, but I guess I still just have to keep going. My son, grandson, and my Scooby Doo are the reasons that I can keep going.”

Like many others, Ma Robin wants a safe place to lay her head at night. “I hope that within a year I have secured housing for my Scooby Doo and me. I just want to have that peace and security. My message for others going through a hard time is that there is always hope. I find my hope through my friends. Find what gives you hope and always hold onto that.”

Ma Robin left us with a message that speaks volumes to the stigma against homelessness. “My message for those that don’t understand homelessness is to open your eyes and take a good look at reality. It's there and you can’t ignore it forever. There are people out there that are homeless because they need help and they are getting shunned and turned away by everyone, the government, their friends, and their family. It is not just one incident, it is a lot that has added up to people being on the streets. There is always hope, but the thing is you have to have a little faith in humankind. Some people are prejudiced because they are scared of what they see. People don’t like seeing homelessness because they are afraid of it and they don’t want to be like that.”
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Artist’s note: Ma Robin cares for everyone around her. The four eggs represent her son, grandchildren, friends, and of course her beloved Scooby Doo. The robin, a songbird, like Ma, her words of encouragement for others, a sweet singsong.
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